Realm of uncertainty.....

Hi,
Just wandering in the thick forest of IT, I realised I am walking on a path which leads to nowhere. Far from home,alone in crowd, seeking for frds , abusing & cursing managers, working for unknown clients and all the surrounding circumstances forced me to believe that i am living in realm of uncertainty.
Trying to add some value to my work and to correlate the same with my studies so far seems to me a far gone conclusion. sometimes i think why have i studied so hard to get this job, only because i need of money.. yes right absolutley.....and i am continuing in this job for only that thing though i may give you innumerable other reasons.Yes I am ready to do buttering to any senior to outsmart others for I also need onsite, for i also have to sustain in the market, for i am also just one of them who fights but then surrender to the situations.
Yes, you can laugh and make fun of me, you can denounce me for my deeds but sorry I will do it not for my pleasure but since everybody else is doing it, this is "in " boss if you dont do it, you are out , if you do it your soul is out. So , Who cares about the soul....you and i dont think about it for we have right too , but we have forbidden that path my frd or will forbid it very soon.
Sometimes i wonder if I would have been rich enough I must have left this place a long ago to chase my dreams but that silly excuse cannot be an safe argument to hide.
The only thing which i have learnt required to chase your dreams is nothing but courage. so
I dont have courage rightly so....though we always appreciate the persons who reach the peak but dont try to achieve the same since the Top is bright but somehow we are reluctant to face the difficulties and to abandon our comfort zone.
May be things are the way they have to be and I might have governed them the way i think but what if I dont want to think becuase if I think I will be unacomfortable because this is not the place where I would have thought myself to be before 5 years but dear sir if things start happening your way you will become perfect but you have taken an oath to imperfection. You are wonderful in disguising the facts and to live in an ilusioned world where you feel safe and you dont want any intervention or truth to be heard from any corners.
You are safe as long as you dont want to hear your soul for this is the voice of the soul you cant hide or neglect.
Sell your brain without any cause since you are getting the money as everyone else. Dont write all these blah-blah when you are going to do nothing about it for "saying and doing nothing" is quite in vogue these days for this has to be your attitude to get a chunk of share in the market for you are not separate from others, for you have to follow the same path as you dont want to travel the separate path for you are weak, for whom the same laws apply.
What will happen to me after 5 years everybody think but very few acts for it. Do you want to become one of the few or want to sail with majority you dont know right..well done keep it up for you this will be your path until you decide your destiny.
all these thought provoking books seem to be motivating but the real motivation you dont want to exhibit because this is what you have made of yourself..congratulations for the situaitons finally prevailed and you got defeated......happy.....
No No No.... I wont lay my arms for i am the man, I am the power and I am the universe for i have to choose my own way to decide my fate on whatever cost...for i have never learnt to surrender. I will rise, I will come back but what i want is some time, i dont have much time to spare as I have little in my stock.Every day is a new day and that is day of MY Life. Wait I will show you my strength for I will not take much time to rise, you have to salute me for the deeds which I will do, for my courage strength and bravery. Dont laugh since my era is going to begin I am coming and will break down the shackles of this uncertaintly and will destroy this realm as i have to decide my destiny for I am a MAN, a MAN of Substance.